A Greeting to Die For
I guarantee you know someone like this… heck, maybe it’s you:
“Hiiiiiiiii Pepito! Oh my goodness, are you excited? Are you, are you, are you?” fuss fuss fuss, rub rub rub.
Then: “Alright, that’s enough now, stop jumping.”
Holy crap — what a gear shift.
For loads of people, high-energy greetings are their go-to.
They’ve just wound the dog up, then suddenly expect them to calm down.
That’s like telling a kid they’re going to Disneyland, letting them scream their head off… and then saying you’ve changed your mind.
When you look at it that way, it’s a bit shitty.
Setting the Tone
Anyone who’s had a consultation with me will know — I usually ignore their dog at first.
Not because I’m a heartless bastard who doesn’t care — I’m just setting the tone. Calm. Neutral. Predictable.
Once the dog relaxes, then I’ll offer quiet praise or calm touches.
The last thing I want to do is feed into already buzzing energy.
Don’t get me wrong — affection’s great. But most of that excitement? It’s for us.
We tell ourselves the dog loves it, but really, we do.
Not every interaction needs to be high-energy — save that for play or training.
What You’re Actually Teaching
Here’s the thing: if every greeting turns into a hype session, that’s exactly what your dog learns to expect.
Do it often enough — with enough people, in enough places — and it becomes their default setting around humans.
That’s when you start to see the knock-ons:
Jumping up
Barking for attention
Frustration-based reactivity
Even charging through doors or gates to greet people — which isn’t just annoying, it’s dangerous.
Because if that door happens to open onto a road, or your dog barrels up to someone holding a baby, that’s not “friendly” anymore — that’s a safety risk.
The tricky bit is that most of this stuff comes from a good place.
It’s your mates, family, or neighbours just wanting to be nice.
But every time they hype your dog up, they’re accidentally feeding the chaos you’re trying to calm.
And when it’s your own family doing it, that’s the hardest.
You don’t want to sound like the fun police or cause awkwardness.
Still, if your dog’s the one sitting calmly while everyone else’s is bouncing off the walls, that tends to make your point for you.
Setting Boundaries (for Humans and Dogs)
The best thing you can do is be consistent.
Lay some ground rules for guests:
Don’t engage with the dog right away
Keep your energy calm
Wait until the dog’s settled before saying hello
Then, teach your dog what you do want when someone comes over — maybe going to their bed or crate.
Here’s the nuance:
You don’t always want to let them leave that spot to greet people.
In fact, early on, it’s often better if they don’t get to say hello at all.
Why? Because if the release always leads to a greeting, they’ll start building anticipation and arousal around that moment.
We want them to learn that guests aren’t a big deal — that calm earns freedom, not excitement.
So, set up practice sessions. Have someone come over just to help you rehearse.
You’re not just training the dog; you’re training your own response plan.
Over time, as your dog’s calmer, you can start relaxing the rules. That’s fine — we’re aiming for long-term success, not a forever lockdown.
The Pay-Off
Once your guests understand how to greet your dog properly, everyone wins.
The dog feels more secure. The humans build a calmer, more genuine connection.
And you — the owner — get a dog that’s actually pleasant to live with.
Because trust me, those who greet Sam like she’s won the bloody lottery make my life way harder.
A calm or delayed greeting doesn’t make you boring.
It makes you the kind of person dogs (and owners) actually want to be around.