Not That Kind of Social
Socialisation is something many new puppy owners are really keen to get right — and that’s great. But here’s the kicker: socialisation for your dog isn’t the same as socialisation for us.
And those chaotic puppy classes you’ve been told to go to? Yeah… they’re not the solution.
A better term for socialisation would honestly be neutral exposure. What we’re actually aiming for is to introduce a puppy to as many things as possible without those things meaning much at all. We want the world to feel normal, not exciting.
Sure, we want positive interactions — but we need to consider how that “positivity” is expressed.
Letting your puppy meet a friendly dog? Lovely. But introducing them to every dog you see, with loads of high puppy energy and excitement? That’s not socialisation — that’s a recipe for frustration-based reactivity later down the line. Same goes for meeting every person under the sun, loaded with strokes, squeaky voices, and treat overload.
What you’re actually teaching your puppy is this:
Every dog is worth charging towards.
Every person is a source of intense excitement.
And if I can’t get to them? I’ll bark, lunge, or pull until I do.
That often ends one of two ways:
Your dog ends up in a scrap with another dog who doesn’t enjoy that kind of high-energy approach.
Your dog develops reactivity when they realise they can’t get to those dogs or people anymore.
And just so we’re clear — if your dog runs up to another and gets nailed, that’s on you. If someone asks you to call your dog back and you don’t — or can’t — and it causes reasonable fear (even without a bite), you could land yourself in trouble under Section 3 of the Dangerous Dogs Act. Fear alone is enough. Control starts and ends with you — even if ‘he’s friendly’.
So What Should Socialisation Look Like?
Simple:
Take your puppy to as many different places as possible — and control their interactions. This isn’t about being controlling in the human sense. It’s about understanding that you’re not just raising a puppy — you’re raising a dog.
As well as places, think about objects, sounds, textures, and experiences:
Bikes, buggies, buses, lifts, escalators
Sand, gravel, puddles, shiny floors
Plastic bags, bin lorries, fireworks, clapping
Cats (honestly, if I could go back and start again with Sam — CATS would be top of the list)
If your pup was born in spring, they might not even know what a puddle is by the time they’re 16 weeks old. These small things matter.
I know it’s impossible to make a dog completely “bombproof” — and that’s fine. But the more you can expose them to now (in a neutral, low-drama way), the fewer headaches you’ll have to deal with later.
Sam and the Myth of Over-Socialisation
When I got Sam, she was already showing signs of dog reactivity. She came to me at about 18 months old, and I didn’t know anything about her past.
A trainer told me she was probably “over-socialised.”
At the time, that meant nothing to me — how can a dog be reactive if it was socialised too much?
Now I know what he meant.
She was probably allowed to meet loads of dogs as a puppy. Here’s how that usually plays out:
Pup meets lots of dogs early on — it’s encouraged.
One day, you try to walk past a dog instead of stopping — pup protests and pulls.
You give in — pup learns: pulling = access.
Next time, you can’t stop. Pup pulls harder, maybe barks. You give in again.
Pup learns: bark + lunge = access to dog.
Eventually, you have to stop letting them meet dogs. But now they’ve got all this built-up frustration. Barking gets louder. Lunging gets stronger. You’re just trying to hang on.
And you’re still shouting:
“Don’t worry, he’s friendly!”
We’ve all seen it. It’s become so common that people think it’s normal — but common isn’t the same as normal.
Neutral Over Social
Having a social dog is nice.
But having a dog who can calmly exist around people and other dogs without losing its shit?
That’s priceless.
That’s your pub dog. That’s your cafe dog. That’s the dog you can take anywhere without stress.
Why I Don’t Offer Puppy Classes
I don’t run puppy-specific classes — and this post should explain why. I don’t train puppies. I train dogs. Whether they’re 10 weeks or 10 years old, the goal is the same: to help them become stable, confident, well-balanced dogs who can handle the world.
If you’re guilty of doing any of the above — don’t stress. You were doing what you thought was best. I’ve got you.
Ping me a message and we’ll get training. And if you’re miles away, I’ll point you in the best direction I can.